Awaken
by Scarletstorm7
Summary: Sometimes our sorrows and pains aren't apparent on the surface. Sometimes they're buried deep underneath. And most of all, we hide them all beneath a mask. This is a Christmas themed Shaneke one-shot.


**Hey guys! Just a Christmas oneshot for y'all. This was obviously supposed to come out around Christmas, but sadly, I'm the slowest, most top procrastinator in the whole SA fandom. My one and only super pathetic defense is that it's technically still the ninth day of Christmas. (And I have computers issues). But to make up for all that delay, I put extra effort in this story. It's a Shaneke one-shot, and I hope you guys like it!**

 **And like always, I assure you guys that my next chapter of 'Walking on the earth' _will_ come out somewhere in the next five thousand years. **

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Abeke pushed open the door, taking in a breath of fresh winter air.

The sounds of festivity were still ringing inside Greenhaven. Who knew that once the snows came, the Euran greencloaks could put on such a celebration? Before she joined the greencloaks, Abeke never would have imagined that such festive times existed in a year, or that first snows would bring such joy to people.(Take Conor, for example, who started getting overexcited about giving presents as soon as the first snowflake enlighted on greenhaven.)

Not that she'd understood at the time, because, well, there never _was_ any snow back in Nilo.

Now, as she stepped out into the winter wonderland that greenhaven had become, she let the sounds of celebration fade away, instead letting the peace and serenity of the white surroundings flow through her.

It was beautiful, and brought back so many memories.

The time they went to Arctica to retreive Suka's talisman.

The time they went to Eura to find the Wildcat's claw

And...

Abeke couldn't suppress the surge of sadness that enveloped her at the thought

 _The time we spent at the place of desolation._

It felt wrong to be bringing back such sad memories at a time of year that was supposed to be 'merry', but the ice and snow reminded her too much. It was the place she had lost so many things, the place she had lost so many people. It was the place she had lost...

 _Him_

Abeke couldn't bring herself to think of such miserable things anymore, and shook her head to clear her thoughts.

Around her, snowflakes drifted lazily from the sky, and she forced herself to concentrate on their spiraling descent. Anything to keep her mind from straying back to those horrid thoughts.

 _Don't think about it,_ she told herself

 _There's nothing to worry about._

She touched the tattoo on her arm and summoned Uraza. The leopard surveyed her surroundings once and promptly started to chase the snowflakes in the air.

Abeke laughed. It was funny how a legendary leopard could act like a kitten sometimes.

She started walking down the snow-covered trail of Greenhaven's gardens, feeling the crunch of fresh snow underneath her boots. Uraza fell in step beside her, making a trail of smaller pawprints beside her own footprints, and destroying the perfection of the otherwise untouched blanket of white.

The beauty of the winter gardens was breathtaking. Trees and bushes alike were covered in a thick layer of snow, giving the scenery a surreal glow. It was like walking in a painting, every detail smoothed to perfection, down to the very last frozen fractal. The gentle motion of the falling snowflakes gave a revolving effect on the landscape, turning the atmosphere dreamy, almost trancelike. Even the grand fountain in the midst of the gardens had frozen, it's stream of water captured in mid-arch, stilled in time.

The air, too, seemed fresher and crisper than it had been on normal days. A gentle, cold wind made the falling snowflakes dance in midair, and created a fantasy-like setting. How could something so magical also remind her of such sad memories?

Abeke followed the path through the gardens, brushing past snow-dusted branches and leaves hardened with ice. Uraza padded beside her, keen eyes no doubt looking for some unlucky prey.

Ahead, a thicket of branches rustled, then exploded with a flurry of snow as a flock of sparrows flew out. Caught off guard, Abeke barely had time to get out of the way before Uraza pounced, landing in the bracken and getting herself covered in snow, but having failed to catch anything. Abeke laughed, and Uraza gave her one of those _I-could've-caught-that-but I didn't-know-if-you-would-want-me-killing-innocent-birds-and-plus-you-were-distracting-me_ looks.

Continuing her path through the gardens, Abeke beckoned for the great leopard to walk with her. Uraza gave a single frustrated lash of her tail before following.

Gradually, the trees, bushes and plants thinned out, signaling the edge of the gardens. The ground sloped upwards, and Abeke had to dig her boots into the snow to avoid slipping. How she envied Uraza's claws at the moment.

After several minutes of super slow hiking, they crested the top of a hill. Abeke's breath caught.

From up here, the view was magnificent. All of the Greenhaven gardens, spread out beneath her, and farther in the distance, she could see the twinkling lights of Greenhaven. Even from here, Abeke could feel the festive joy radiating from the castle, warming her internally. She could stay here forever. On top of the world, it made everything seem so small yet grander than anything she could ever imagine.

Here, there was nothing that could get to her. She could lose herself in time.

Abeke didn't know how long she spent on the hill, gazing out at the expanses below.

Out of her subconsciousness, she was vaguely aware of a motion in the corner of her field of vision. She snapped back to reality.

"Uraza, what are you doing?" asked Abeke, not sure what she was seeing. The leopard had somehow created a small snowball and was pushing it around with her nose.

Abeke grinned. "You wanna build a snowman?" she reached down and formed a snowball of her own, and after rolling it around in the snow for a few minutes, made it five times as big as Uraza's. The leopard flicked her tail once, then lost interest and stalked off to follow a scent trail. Abeke hoped no one had left their small spirit animals outside. When Uraza was hunting, no creature was safe.

Making another smaller snowball, Abeke stacked the two snowballs on top of one another, resulting in a snowman almost as tall as she was.

She then reached into the folds of her cloak and pulled out a white mask. The silver wood was carved featureless, and smoothed to perfection. The wood felt odd yet familiar in her hands, from the countless days she had held it after the Wyrm war. It was the only thing she had left from _him._ Even now, it hurt internally to think of the name she held so dear in her heart.

After the war, the redcloaks had thought it 'necessary' to bury their leader in his red cloak, but decided that he would rest proudly, without having to hide behind a mask.

Now, that very mask served as Abeke's last connection to him, apart from a handful of memories.

She would never forget the screaming, crying, that empty space in her heart that she knew would never be filled again...

It was no use anymore. She couldn't contain the flashbacks, the visions of fear and despair. The feelings of pain and loss, and the regret that had nearly broken her. The chaos and destruction, threatening to destroy everything, and a huge wound opening in her heart. The feeling that she had stopped the world from falling into peril, yet she was powerless to save the one life that mattered most to her. And most of all, she remembered those golden eyes beneath a white featureless mask, pleading in their last moments for her forgiveness.

Tears pricked Abeke's eyes.

This was one of the reasons she needed to be alone. Some days, especially on those with a celebration, all the joy just reminded her of the sorrow she felt underneath. Even though she knew she should be honoring the memories, not crying over them, she still refused to let go.

Almost on instinct, she reached up and pressed the mask into the snowman's 'face'. Abeke didn't know what impulse drove her to do so, but it just felt right in the moment.

She looked up at the snowman, with its silvery mask, and as she stared for a second longer, something changed.

The snowman stayed perfectly still, yet it _moved._ A sudden rush of wind sent the snowflakes in the air whirling madly, and Abeke waited for the flurry to clear. Except it didn't. The snowflakes rushed and swirled faster and faster, and she shielded her face to protect herself from the blizzard.

As soon as it had come, it was over. The snowflakes cleared, but in the place where the snowman once stood was an icy, ghostlike figure.

Abeke gasped.

Even covered in a pale, frosty sheen, translucence omitting all traces of red, the figure was unmistakeable with his smooth featureless mask and piercing eyes glowing softly behind.

"Sh-Shane?" Stuttered Abeke.

" _Shh_..." whispered the figure, drawing closer and putting an icy finger to her lips. The touch felt cold, sending tingles down Abeke's spine, yet there was something strangely comforting about the sensation.

Abeke blinked, looking up at the figure's face.

Obscured by the mask, he looked even more ghostlike up close, though his presence felt like something she needed. Something she couldn't live without.

" _Abeke..."_ When he spoke, his voice resonated in soft echoes that reverberated and lingered in her head.

 _"Do not hold on to the memory of me..."_ Abeke held her breath as he drew even closer to her. The space between them was barely enough to extend her hand in. Apart from the gentle gusts of wind whistling in the distance, and the occasional rustle in the snowscape, the only sound Abeke could distinguish was the beating of her heart.

 _"My time in this world is over, but_ _yours is not... you still have great things to accomplish..._ _"_ Abeke was almost afraid to move, fearing that if she did this would all turn into a dream. Her heartbeat accelerated, and she found herself focused on the tiny space between them.

For a split second, nobody said anything. The figure's piercing gaze caught her own, and Abeke felt a surge of emotions rush through her.

Then the soothing, whispery voice flowed into her mind once again.

" _Even if I'm gone, I'll always be with you..."_ Abeke barely had time to react before the gap between them closed. She felt a familiar, tingling sensation sweep through her body as she was drawn into the figure's embrace. Even though his body was cold and transparent, Abeke felt an immense comforting feeling as she let herself fall away from reality and into his arms. She didn't know if the sensation felt foreign or familiar, but one thing she knew for sure was that she wished she could stay like this for eternity.

It was a carefree world of bliss and warmth, yet as soon as the thought crossed her mind, Abeke knew that she couldn't stay in the embrace forever.

Somehow, she knew he was fading. Fading, and returning to the ice and snow he came from.

Abeke clung on desperately as the figure started to dissolve, dissipating into hundreds of tiny snowflakes that were in turn carried away by the wind. It was gone. Over.

Slowly, Abeke felt her consciousness leave her.

~…~…~…~…~…~

Abeke blinked, as if coming to. Vaguely, she remembered a soft, echoing voice and a feeling of comfort enveloping her. The memories were blurred, though, like dreams often were.

Suddenly, Abeke became aware that she was kneeling in the snow, and that there was a form standing over her, casting a shadow.

"Shane?" She asked tentatively.

Then she looked up, and laughed. She _had_ to laugh, because it wasn't Shane. It was the snowman she had built earlier, standing exactly where it had been before.

Abeke stood up, brushing snow off herself. More of the events of the day were starting to come back to her, slowly seeping in like water through cloth. But before she had the chance to remember more, a voice interrupted her. And this time, it was a real voice, not a ghostly echo.

"Abeke! There you are, We were worried about you!" It was Conor, running up the slope, a huge expression of relief on his face.

He stopped in front of her.

"We looked all over for you, and I thought maybe you were in the gardens. Are you okay?" He seemed genuinely concerned, and Abek felt a twinge of guilt.

"I'm fine," she replied. In fact, she was more than fine. She had actually enjoyed herself for one reason or the other, even though she recalled being sad. Nevertheless, she felt bad for making her friends worry.

"Are you sure?" Conor didn't seem convinced.

"Yes, really!" Why was he being so overly concerned about her? Abeke assumed it was just because he was just nice and cared about other people. "Thanks for your concern," she added.

Conor still didn't seem entirely convinced, and Abeke didn't blame him. After all, she _had_ vanished for over an hour.

"Hey, that's an interesting snowman." Abeke startled at his sudden words, and followed his gaze over to where the snowman still was, complete with the mask on it's face.

Abeke inhaled sharply and frantically tried to grab the mask off the snowman's face before shoving it under her cloak.

When she looked up, a genuinely confused expression was painted on Conor's face. But from the looks of it, he was trying to fit the pieces together in his head because his expression quickly turned skeptical.

Abeke tried her most innocent, bright smile to deviate suspicion. But right at that moment they were interrupted by Meilin and Rollan bursting over the top of the hill.

"OMG YOU CAN'T JUST DISAPPEAR AND GIVE EVERYONE A HEART ATTACK LIKE THAT," said Meilin, non too calmly. "We were so worried!" She tackled Abeke in a hug, almost knocking them over.

"Hmm, I see. Secret snowman building mission?" Joked Rollan, indicating the snowman that was _still_ there.

Abeke giggled.

"Come on, let's get back to Greenhaven," Meilin started back down the hill. "The celebrations are still going on,"

Abeke couldn't help but smile as her and her friends headed back to Greenhaven. Even though the festivities were at their highest at this time of year, nothing could make her happier than the memories of a whispering echo through her head, and two beautiful, golden eyes behind a plain white mask.

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 **So... what did you guys think? Please comment and review, and sorry again for the lateness. Have a wonderful rest of christmas break**

 **~Scarlet**


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